Woven and Spun

I feel like i’ve forgotten who you are self, getting caught up in thoughts and thoughts and thoughts of who you should be,who they want you to be,who you think they want you to be,

a walk down memory lane shall we?

i love things that are sweet,good-natured,agreeable. the kind of things that make you smile to yourself and think,the world is a beautiful place.

i love music that builds,with the most beautiful and intricate sounds until it finally bursts into a sound that if you were to imagine it ,it would look like the waves rolling in when theres only a little bit left,and they  just cover the sand and retreat right back the way they came.

i like things that remind me of grace,and of hope.that the glass is always half full with Jesus,even when this world seems so so so empty,not an ounce of hope left,its there,He is there ready to brim over and spill out.

i like it when the sky at sunset is a shy shade of yellow,it makes everything look golden and lovely.

I love it when in someone you can see a confidence about themselves that comes from knowing who they are in God.

I love books,that are complete adventure,that when i shut them from cover to cover,i feel like i’ve been to Paris and scaled the Eiffel,or saved an island of people from imminent doom,with my wit and amazing Macgyver  skills.

I like to sit on porches with friends,with peppermint tea,and discuss how beautfiul my God is.

I love who God has made me.im so glad i can say that.i wont apologize,make excuses  i am this way because of my dad or my mom or my sunday school teacher….My God did that,He made me.i like that.

I love quiet moments in worship when He feels so close.

my heart is for people. i wish i knew how to express that.

i dont want to be anyone else.thanks ,but no thanks.

lets ask not what would Jesus do…but how would he live?

Obviously Jesus isn’t going to go to a party and get drunk and choose from the plethora of drugs on the coffee table for tonight’s high.

But he would walk right into the middle of all the non sense and look passed their actions, pierce their hearts with his eyes and know that they are deeply wounded feeling a void bigger than they can handle and needing an escape.He would be that for them.He would be there for them.

obviously Jesus isn’t going to go to a brothel and pay for a night with a girl.

But He would weep over the place she had to be inside herself to get to there.And he would hold her,still wearing the clothes she wore from the last client, let her cry all the tears she ever had on His shoulder,even if He knew she would go back inside when she was done.

Obviously Jesus isn’t going to  sit around a table of girlfriends and gossip with them.

but he will love them enough that when they go home,and feel in the pit of their stomachs that they shouldn’t have said those things,to draw them back to his heart,and speak life over them.

obviously Jesus isn’t going to be thrilled with the church service that is seeker friendly and whitewashed.

But He longs for them,they are His Bride,He sees them and knows who they could be,He sees them and thinks theyre beauty surpasses them all,He sees them,even in their distant state,and never leaves them or forsakes them.

I asked myself this question the other night.as i found myself in the midst of a comedy night at a coffee shop that to me wasn’t funny,more along the lines of heart wrenching. but looking deeper passed their comments and into their eyes that spoke way louder than their words ever could,you could tell they were hurt,they were troubled,insecure,wandering.i’ve been all these things a time or two but i have never ever been without hope. so even though i was uncomfortable i asked myself How would Jesus respond here? would he be offended and walk out with his ears ringing in regret that he ever had to hear those things…or would he stay and talk to them and even just for a moment let them know that someone cared about them and loved them right where they were.I ended up meeting a really sweet kid.He realized there was something different about us and asked us some questions.He said why are you here? do you live around here?.(..i hate saying church to people it automatically throws up walls) but i replied no i live about an hour away,but i come here for church,we stopped here on the way home. but since we had taken the time to just talk with him before,he was actually excited to hear that, He said Church!? i haven’t been in so long. where do you guys go? we got his info,hopefully we will further befreind him, further love him and get him connected with some people where he lives who love Jesus and who will love  him right where he is.

it never hurts to get outside where you’re comfortable. pssst…secret…thats usually where Jesus is. :  )

I have learned the importance of getting out

into the day in all its glory

watching the time roll by in an environment that has God’s fingerprints all over it.

perspective changes.

slooooooowwww doooooowwwnn

i find when i leave to much time in between stopping and staring at the beauty around me, breathing in deep of who He is in the earth and  the hustle and bustle of life my thoughts feel like a 50 car pile up when i try and slow them down.

take time

live outside of walls.

today i feel like this..almost precisely.

like where i am,and where my heart longs to be are in opposite directions.

i’ve been know to be in this place from time to time. It seems i always get here when i’ve thought long and hard.

My Heart.

my funny little heart.

It dreams and longs for things far bigger than myself,and this place.

it leaves my face wet with tears and my mind unsatisfied.

for a long while i thought this to be a terrible thing..be content,i’d tell myself.

im not sure though..that i was made to be content with this.

sometimes i feel like im going to burst.

today i feel just tired like i have an elephants heart in a mouse’s body.

what to do,except be expectant of my God for the dreams inside.

Rainy days make me pensive, there is something inside that needs to come out. I worked today, with all the rain it was so dead. A customer every couple of hours or so. So I had time to slow down my thoughts. To quiet myself there in the middle of espresso and pastries and the coffeehouse radio station that was playing  all the right songs. I was thinking about what it would take for me to become the person I dream of being. How I could be love to the people around me. How I could be the faith that He finds on the earth. I feel so refreshed in even thinking those things. Like I can feel His heart for me and that is it, to be those things would be every day heavenly. Perhaps that’s what the kingdom looks like. Perhaps, indeed.

Today was just a great day for me, quite ordinary to the naked eye but to me it was lovely in every detail. I woke up to the sound of rain, In my opinion the most beautiful sound. I read my Bible for a little while, I love my Bible, it feels like home when I’m in it, no matter where I go whenever I open it its like instant comfort, like these words aren’t going to let me down, I can count on them and the one who breathed them. I love that feeling. I talked to sharla  on the phone, My old and dear. She was flooded in her house so I was checking on her, silly gal. I met up with Josiah for brunch  at its all good coffeehouse…we decided we liked it. The food was  yum and he knew our waitress he told me one of his favorite things is running into old friends even if its awkward. Then we went to three sisters thrift store, I have been wanting to go there, I bought a few things for my vintage shop on Etsy. Josiah got some shoes and a dream catcher…(this is why he will never cease to interest me.)He also wanted a pair of psychedelic pants that inspired him : ) haha but he declined being as they were 7 dollars.

Then I went to work. Oh! and a girl came in with rain boots ,I decided I want some! I just love life today, somewhere in the midst of all of that I was thinking that I would rather be anywhere else, but I thank my Jesus for helping me see the extraordinary in what seems ordinary.

**Welcome**

There is a freedom in Knowing You and even more in loving You.

i have been pondering what it would look like for all of the areas of my life to be  in the kingdom.

like that song says everything i am for your kingdom’s cause…what would the day  look like for someone who lived that way.

how would i view time,people,money,work,talents,resources?

none of it would be mine.thats my thought so far.everything i had would be to benefit someone or something else.

it would look like love.

pure selfless love.

Don’t become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong? That’s not partnership; that’s war. Is light best friends with dark? Does Christ go strolling with the Devil? Do trust and mistrust hold hands? Who would think of setting up pagan idols in God’s holy Temple? But that is exactly what we are, each of us a temple in whom God lives. God himself put it this way:

“I’ll live in them, move into them;
I’ll be their God and they’ll be my people.
So leave the corruption and compromise;
leave it for good,” says God.
“Don’t link up with those who will pollute you.
I want you all for myself.
I’ll be a Father to you;
you’ll be sons and daughters to me.“
The Word of the Master, God.

2 corinthians 6:14-18

im in love with this statement that He makes,Im in love with my Father who made it.

i will move into them,i will dwell among them…says God. think about that.

I will be a father to you, you will be my sons and daughters.

I do believe the one thing someone has ever called me that made my heart come alive within me is daughter of God, and here He says it himself.

how amazing is my Abba? the one thing he asks of us is to be His.

such beauty.

it seems my favorite color finds its way into all my artsiness somehow.
the little owl is still unfinished im letting him sit a while until im inspired.my newest peice(i feel like a nerd calling it that) is the big one in the middle,Happiness is homemade.

im working on some hair accessories now,and soonly a bumble bee and his home will be painted.you’ll see.

oh happy day.

i was looking through my india pictures today,towards the end of shuffling through them i just sat back in awe that i had been there.

One of my biggest dreams i got to live.

i remember thinking while walking around the Tahj Mahal

My God you romance me with my dreams coming true!

i was so amazed at how he did that for me.

How he placed that in my heart, how it had been stirring for YEARS,how he brought me to status and whispered in my ear to sign up,how he calmed my heart when i got anxious about how i’d get there,and how when i got there he literally blew me away.completely blew me away.

i am still amazed That God would listen to me,really listen and hear what i love and inspire me to dream and to step out into that,and then to add even little details that i couldnt even imagine,he goes above and beyond what i could ask for,really he does that!

He romanced me,he still does,every day He blows me away.